Greetings Universe Friends,
As I'm here writing my first official Blog Post for you, it occurred to me that so much has changed in my life from when I first started blogging.
In the last 7 years my life looks nothing like the stereotypical life society told me I would be living. Hell in the last 10 years my life has taken on a whole new dynamic!
If you have followed me over the years via social media, then you will know I'm a mother of 3 Kings, I have 3 degrees, I'm an inspired public speaker (need to do more speaking), Multidimensional Coach, True-Self Discovery Mentor and I live with BURT aka Fibromyalgia. If you are new to DearNadine I welcome you to the Journey.
Time has been my friend and companion during a healing process, that I never though would be possible for me.
If you live with a chronic illness or know someone who does, then you might inner-stand the depths of how challenging life can be for us!
We constantly question our self worth, which can lead to questioning how we are viewed in various relationship's (personal and professional), then you have the clouds of negative self talk we have to battle with daily.
I mean, we can sometimes be our own worst enemy! For example; just before Christmas I cancelled several occasions to meet with family and friends because I was just overwhelmed.
Then I spend days guilting myself for "not making more of an effort" but the truth is I always make an effort, but sometimes I forget that I need more rest than most people. I forget that a flare up for me can last weeks or even months. Which is why I honour the need for harmony in my life over balance.
Why harmony over balance?
In my experience pre BURT aka Fibromyalgia, I was all about balancing and juggling the wants and needs of life. I had minimal boundaries about how I used my time, I was a people pleaser... Everyone always asked and I would 99% of the time say "YES" leaving me with 1% for myself. As I had no boundaries, neither did those taking advantage of my good nature.
So as you can imagine Balance was not working for me. Now when I think about it, balance is literarily a scale that can tip at any point causing you to become imbalanced and unaligned with your wants and needs. I did not know, that what I really needed was Harmony.
The experience of moving from Balance to Harmony took time. More recently I realised that finding Harmony was only difficult because on a societal level we only ever hear people, organisations and institutions talk about "finding balance" no one ever askes the question "How can we have harmony?"
The first place you can find harmony is by asking yourself difficult questions... these questions are personal and private to you, its something that only you can work through for your own benefit. In asking yourself these questions, provides you with insight into where you are now, and it could also raise more questions than answers, which can be frustrating.
I was the latter in this process, the more questions I asked myself the more questions I had, and the frustration in not having the answers, opened up my seeking spirit to find my answers. So when did I swap Balance for Harmony?
The transition began around 2017 when I had the good fortune of having this question "How can I balance my business and family life?" answered by the wonderful Lisa Nichols. If you don't know Lisa Nichols please google her! In short though Lisa Nichols is a celebrated motivational speaker and author and also one of the teachers of "The Secret".
Lisa answered my question directly during a podcast interview with Dr Ava Brown. Her response to my question was the breakthrough I never knew I needed...
She said "Nadine you will never find balance my dear, what you want is harmony, balance means the scale will always tip in one way or another, but harmony means that you will find flow and in finding flow you will know what your life needs and what your life needs to let go" Lisa was right! In that precious 7 minutes of her providing some insight into her lived experience of balance and harmony, it gave me all the energy I needed to started creating harmony within my life.
The first thing I did with this information was to establish boundaries, (remember its always a work in progress flex) because its new. The second thing I did was remind myself and others that "NO" is a complete sentence that does not require me to give an explanation. The third thing I did was start to recall my power and energy from those around me who took advantage (again this did not happen overnight).
You see Time is not linear (it's not straight or just progressing from one stage to another). Within and of itself Time is energy, and because of this fact, we sometimes forget that Time is a measure of non stop, consistent change in our lives, relationships and environments or that we can jump timelines in our present reality (something we were never taught).
Now that I had the inner-standing of balance, harmony and time, it was my time to put these things into action... Yes action... that thing we need to do once the learning slows down enough to feel confident in taking action. However what a lot of us miss is the necessary emotion (energy in motion) required to carry out some actions (it happens). More and more I was able to make a healthy emotional connection to what I truly wanted in my life.
Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Connection are not the same the thing.
Today within this blog I am going with Emotional Connection, because without this we can lack the Emotional Intelligence to make choices in our own best interests and its harder to hear through the noise and even harder to move away from things that no longer serve us.
I had high EQ and low Emotional Connection to my hearts desires. So imagine what happened when I found harmony between the two! No need I'll tell you more!
I began working on establishing my True-Self through a series of learning and disciplined actions. Using my knowledge of self awareness to self love, then realising the impact of trauma and actioning healing from within. It sounds so simple and it is... It's the first steps that take courage, its as mentioned before the ability to ask yourself the difficult questions from deep within you, then its the battle to breakdown conditioning and recondition to your True-Self.
Hints and Tips:
Be gentle with yourself
Limit the negative self talk (its never necessary)
Ask yourself the difficult questions (only you have the answers)
Accept who you are in the moment (be present with inner-standing)
Remember change is constant (even when you are still)
Time never stops (it is not linear)
Journal (written or audio)
Drink water daily (at least 2 litres)
Establish a spiritual practice (Yoga, Meditation, Nature Walking, Outdoor Swimming)
Make yourself a First Priority in your Life (Say a necessary No to gain a beneficial YES)
Universe Friends, thank you for your time, thank you for engaging, and more importantly thank you for being You. DearNadine
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